dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
