I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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