YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
