Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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