Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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