Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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