New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
