it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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