you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize