You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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