Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
