My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
