i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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