I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
