Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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