Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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