I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
