just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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