The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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