JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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