I want to walk on stilts...naked
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
