are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I have post one night stand depression
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