how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
