He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
