and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I understand Curling. That high.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
