WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
