sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize