We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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