honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
