That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
