is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Can I color on your dick again?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
