I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
