i just google imaged poop.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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