we have officially lost it.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize