Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
