What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
