I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
