would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
