If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
