I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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