Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
