I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
