I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
