how can u be prego again
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
