we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
