Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
