Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
