the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
