I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
My vagina is very pro this idea
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