I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
