Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
