i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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