I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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