last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
