I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
