i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
