if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
