You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Vodka?
Forever.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
