Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
