Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
