just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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