I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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